Just got back from a date with a Italian guy. Don't know if I actually consider them WMs but that's another story.
He took me to an Italian restuarant and the waitress was visibly trying to make him feel guilty about dating a BW. When he ordered the wine she said "Are you sure you don't want an ITALIAN wine" heavy emphasis on the Italian. She was giving him the "How COULD you look" the entire time.
At some point she seemed to resign herself to the fact that she was not making him feel guilty. He was actually clueless (such a guy). And then I noticed her looking at him like "What does he have that she wants....he's kind of cute."
I felt like I was watching a story happening on TV and outside of my reality. I was really able to observe what was happening. Perhaps because I wasn't that into the date.
Interesting though that BW are always told that they think that BM are "their" men. I wonder if this is a universal thing or specific to some cultures (ex. they were both Italian and heavily identify as such).
Your comments....
Monday, October 1, 2007
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9 comments:
Such a shame. I hope you didn't let this interfere with your date. Question? Did she look and act that way with you? What is it about us out of every race, we receive the most criticism? I don't think it has anything to do with music and videos because 20 years ago, I experienced the same thing when I dated a wm-and I was in the military.
She acted a bit off at first but like I said I really wasn't into the date anyway so I didn't care. I was able to just watch her behavior and how she transitioned. After awhile, when she realized that she was not affecting our date (especially on his part), she stopped. But then she was looking at him like "hmmmmm, he's cute." I found the whole thing amusing actually.
Hi Lisa:
Had a similar thing happen to me, except the server was a young BW and she would not even make eye contact with me! When we sat down, she looked at my date the entire time, never moved her head or acknowledged me-even when she took my order!! I was getting a little irritated, but chose not to make an issue about it. She was obviously very, very, very unhappy that I was out with a BW. Oh well, such is life I guess.
Thanks for starting another IR blog! We need all the exposure we can get.
Angry Black Cat has an interesting commentary on this sort of behavior:
http://www.angryblackcat.com.
In this post, she talks about being out with her husband and white women coming on to him, acting as though she wasn't even there.
why do you guys let this get to you!?!? who gives a damn what people think or try to impliy (sp?)
I agree with anon, don't let this junk get to you. They're the ones with the problem, not you or your date.
Isn't just intersting how white woman hate when they see "us" with "their men" I get it all the time when I'm out with my husband
Hey it's universal response to IRR. Sometimes, as AA, we think we are the only group that experience such feelings like this. However you story highlights the fact that many people of different cultural groups will react in the same manner.
As far as Italians are concerned, yeah there White(racially), but I notice they have stronger ties to their cultural group than Anglo-Saxons. I love Italian men....so sexy.
Congrads on your blog, really like it. They get so into that crap about bw being so undesirable they start to beleive their own bs. Then when they see bw being loved by others, they have an attitude lol.
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